BWW Nomination!!!

Hi out there!

I've just received a Broadwayworld.com Best Actor in a Musical nomination for my performance as Shrek in Shrek The Musical at the Broadway Palm in Fort Myers, Florida!

I'm so thrilled to be recognized in any way for this production. Anyone associated with the show knows how important this process was to me. I am also thrilled that our principal performers dominate both this and other categories, along with noms for choreography, set design, costumes and direction! I just want to see the show recognized in some way. If you'd like to vote for me, super! Otherwise, I encourage you to cast votes for my castmates...they were all amazing! Here's the link below, don't forget to complete the process in its entirety. You can leave categories blank, as long as you finish the form. Thanks!

Vote for Shrek!!!

Obcast Interview

The link on the podcast leads you here, and the link here leads you to the podcast. My god, it's perfect.

This 92-minute interview will explain so, so much about my absence, plus you'll hear about exciting new things coming to the blog. Also, follow me on YouTube at screenname actorsnonactors.

Episode 11: Chuck Caruso

Sorry...

I'm currently having trouble differentiating between what would be useful content in this blog, and what is just the recycled diatribe of a very, very frustrated man. So, I've decided that I would just backspace through everything I just typed and go "Hey. Something was here, but I didn't really want to show it, nor did you probably need to hear it. I'll try again soon. I swear." Trust me, it was neither controversial or constructive. Later.

C

Post-Shrek

Would it be too succinct to say that this was the most rewarding theatrical experience of my life?

Probably.

Anyway...give me a little more time to process my thoughts on this one, and I promise a more thorough evaluation of that. Also, we went right into rehearsal for the new show...and I should probably devote some of my time to getting that open as well. More soon.

The Big Annoying Contradiction:

There's a conflict in my life that I've never truly been able to get a handle on. I merely manage it out of necessity, in hopes that it will find its own true resolution sometime in the future.

I'm an anxious person with a tendency towards feelings of loneliness. It doesn't jibe well with the industry I'm in.  I really do enjoy bringing love and laughter to my friends, but I seem to feel left out of the fold through no fault of theirs much of the time. This can be a very lonely existence, the life of a character actor. So much so that I've finally resigned to making an effort to change my outward appearance since it seems such a block toward anyone actually wanting to get to know me on a more personal (or even at some point, romantic) level.  I do have some truly wonderful friends...it's not their fault, and I NEVER want to give that impression. I despise feeling sorry for myself, but as the years go on I see so much of the industry getting younger, while my prospects grow slim. Add to that the fact that it's so damn difficult to remain stationary enough to run into people outside the buisness, and it often turns into a very repetitious and unforgiving cycle.  The contradiction manifests itself in the "okay-ness" that we must constantly portray as live performers, never conceding to our own loneliness and shortcomings.

Social awkwardness seems to have followed me up from elementary and high school on (chronically bullied, non-athletic, chastized for being "the sensitive kid") although my charisma seems to be far better at deflecting it as I run into more and more people who function on my intellectual level.  I sometimes think about how much more rewarding this current success would be if I had someone special in my heart to share it with.  I grow envious of other people's circumstances, but not in an unpleasant way, because I do still acknowledge that it could certainly happen for me, too.  They know I cheer their successes, and only strive to learn from them what makes it work, so I can parlay those experiences into a more fulfilling time for myself.

I've said time and time again how much I earnestly "root" for all my married friends that seem to be making a go of it in this business. They're on Broadway, they're all over the country, and they've seemed to "crack the code." What a gift it must be to have that sort of grounding in your life in times when you feel like you're hurtling through existence without a single other constant in your world.

Hope springs eternal...so I go on. Much love, everyone...

c

Why I'm not big on matinees...

I've always had this weird thing about two-show days.

It's not fostered in laziness...I could have the smallest role in a show, spend half the track reading in the green room, yet a double always feels a little funny to me. I'm going to go ahead and assume it has something to do with the journey one takes in the course of a show. When you're aware that you are going to do the show again on any given day, there's always part of you that tends to be a little less engaged, considering the fact that energy is finite and one must meter it out to a certain degree.

Okay. Wait. It's not that I hate two-show days. It's that I LOVE one-show days!

Your timeline stays intact. You work your rituals from end to end (getting your water bottles filled, warming up, putting on your makeup, seeing other characters for the first time) and it keeps you more engaged in the now of the whole event you're part of.  I understand them as a financial necessity in most theatre schedules, but I just love the thoroughly "done" feeling of a single show day.

Especially in a show I love to do, like Shrek, it's by no means a hardship...but a one show day is certainly super-special.

c

Regarding Opening Shrek....

I've seen something in the past few weeks that has really moved me.  The people close to the show may be sick of my praise, but this is on a much grander scale. It's blog fodder now!

You are always aware, as a performer, that people are really, earnestly (for the largest part) not in it for the cash. The pay's at about a year 2000 level, and hasn't really improved greatly since the most recent economic crisis.  We rally. We find that little joy within us that makes us get out of bed and go on. We discover whatever carries us through to the next rehearsal / tech day / double-double / media event and we clutch onto that little hope...and we proceed. We proceed to thrill a crowd, to make people think, to break some convention that makes the next big thing more special than the last.

For me, that's Shrek.

The atmosphere, the constant smiles and comments from servers, custodians, ticket agents, designers...who all acknowledge that this "isn't your typical dinner show."  The gasp from the audience (I heard it tonight) when they realize that this movie is coming to life in front of them.  The knowing smiles from my dear castmates when we connect in the smaller, more personal moments of the story.  I have an elf moment. I have a wolf moment. I have a three bears moment. I have a fairy godmother AND a Peter Pan moment. A countless pile of Donkey and Fiona moments.  It's all connected and anytime I shoot my gaze their way, they're in it. In it for real.

But here's the best part, people. It seems so obvious, but how has it eluded me until now? (You're gonna say: "You're playing Shrek, dumbass...of course you're having fun."  If it weren't for these people, it would just be hot, noisy, kooky work.)

The best part is that these people...these talented people...they carry me through it all night long, and then...when it's over? They're doubly grand off the stage. If you know me, you know I spend no little energy in saying this: I have already made lifelong friends in many of these people...whether they realize it or not.

Now's the best part. Having time free. Getting to know the people I haven't spent much time with even better. I know better than most that theatre can thrill you one moment and tear your heart out the next...but I'm telling you, these people are so special, so dear to me.

This silly thing. This fairy tale. This show that could easily just be a frilly little cupcake has turned into a four-course meal.

It's the best time every time.

Happy Opening.

More posts soon. I see we have a growing audience in Russia. That's amazing. Questions? Let me know what you're thinking. Topic ideas? Fire away. I'm here for all of you!

-c-

What's the hold-up?

Hi there!

I am on my 4th day of Shrek rehearsals, and I can already tell you, dear readers, that this is one of the most incredible projects I've ever been lucky enough to work on. Amazing talent, really nice people and so much fun. I will write more about it soon...just know that it's gonna be a lot of information. Stay tuned. Would folks also like info on how to come see the show? Let me know.

c

On performance dynamic.

I play a fairly small role in my current show, A Closer Walk With Patsy Cline. It's an odd thing to say, because I am the only other actor in the show besides the star, and I easily occupy about a third of the overall stage time. However, it is not at all sour grapes to acknowledge the fact that I am not the person people are there to see. Her name's in the title, folks. Basically, what I do is facilitate costume changes, set dramatic tone and give Pats a breather here and there.

There's been a really interesting dynamic in this show. As a precursor, I should mention that this is our third mounting of this production, after a fairly successful run in Arizona over a year ago and a wildly received mounting in Pennsylvania prior to that. Patsy has essentially been beat-to-beat identical in all three shows, where I, in contrast, seem to be in a constant state of flux from city to city.

A bit of background: I do three comic routines, two of which are "pat" stand-up shtick from the early 1950s, appropriate to the time and place where Patsy would have held these performances. As such, the material is not the highest of high-brow; quite on the contrary it dips quite low...which was hee-larious during that time. The audience is basically expected to make the connection that this is the raw, churlish "humor of the day," not at all in step with the political correctness and strictures (thanks, Fiona!) of present day comedy. It works some nights. Other nights, BOY does it not.

I guess at this point I can say that the Pennsylvania crowd "got it" the best. This is not a value judgment, it's just what happened.  Many of the "Grand Ole Opry Comic's" jokes were of the "my wife is so fat / so ugly / so dumb" variety, and the PA crowd seemed to get a swift sense of just where I was going and guffawed along accordingly.

Then I got to Arizona.

I was stunned. Stunned by the bleak silence of a crowd that was clearly not along for the ride; on the contrary, they were not inured with the idea that this hillbilly dope with the ugly suit and cowlick was degrading a woman who was not available to comment, nor allowed to defend herself.  I was really crushed by the response. I immediately went into defense mode, questioning the intelligence of the material, the attitude of my delivery and numerous other factors. Then I thought of the words "performance dynamic."  It's a rare opportunity to be able to fine-tune material in a theatrical environment, especially after opening.  It raised concerns especially because I didn't want to feel as though I was giving in to people who simply didn't find me funny.  In a larger piece with greater emotional and plot stakes, I certainly wouldn't have been able to tailor a performance in this way...but it was the right thing to do this time. 

But...that's what I'm there for, and it's all I have to offer them, right? Right.

So, I began re-tooling. I altered the character's persona in order to show the crowd my belly, and keep the threat to a minimum. Any insulting material I converted to self-effacing humor because hey...if they liked the new jokes they'd be there with me, and if they didn't...they'd agree with the target selection!

The dynamic changed overnight. The new material got great laughs (for not-so-great-to-begin-with jokes), my fears of creating some sort of emotional block between Patsy and the audience were alleviated, and we started to have more fun as a group.

It's basically the same in Florida, though we do clearly have a group here much more anxious to get to the music. It's an East Coast vacationer crowd (even more so than the Pennsylvanians, who seem far more laid back than Florida retirees) and perhaps the best direction I got on this leg was to just speed everything up. People around here talk faster, move faster...the show is at its shortest running time ever, even the laughs come faster. It's made me think of tours I've been on- how sometimes the dynamic between cast and audience can be so different from city to city...in those sort of situations you can cite numerous reasons: regional political views, politeness of the community (nice people who love the show but are afraid to cheer), even exposure to theatre...but in a fully realized production show, there's little opportunity to tailor to the crowd. Perhaps a subtle line reading here, a drop in volume to demand attention there...but in the end, Dolly comes down the staircase, that cat's gotta get in the tire, and the fat train wins the big race.

Almost 200 people have read my entries so far. I really appreciate that. I'll keep writing them.
-c-

Regarding Florida and Patsy Cline...

Hello.

We had our two "preview performances" of A Closer Walk with Patsy Cline today, which, for those who haven't worked for this company before (both of you) means paid audiences we get notes after before our acutal "press opening" tomorrow night.

For as long as I've worked here, I've always considered Employee Preview on Wednesday night "Opening Night," but Friday comes with little meatballs and alcohol, so it's the real opening in the eyes of the Company. Now, having a cast of TWO reduces the sparkle of such an opening a tad...but it will be nice to go into the schedule. Today was also Thursday, which means we have exactly one month until rehearsals for Shrek begin, though I know the time will go far, far faster than that.

And I'm so excited I'm probably becoming a nuisance about it. Whatever...it'll be here before you know it.

I'm also going to attempt to start a little "pre-NYC-networking" to get back in Disney's good graces while I have so many Mondays and Tuesdays free in Florida, at least one trip to Orlando to the Animal Kingdom facility as soon as they have an open call that I feel I should attend...as well as trying to be seen for Royal Carribean's Hairspray production which several friends have told me I should hunt down. These are two things that I'd put a trip back to Manhattan on hold for...but there's not a whole lot else that would divert me at this point.

As for getting my life on track, I'm trying to be a lot more conscious of my caloric intake, as well as fleshing out my bigger meals with lots more vegetables and keeping my carb intake down a little. I don't always succeed, but I'm gonna need to give myself a little permission to fail at the onset here. Late night binge eating has to be curtailed almost entirely as well. Trips to the gym (especially to build up my stamina for Shrek) will begin on Monday. (we get free gym access here...woo!)

If this blog is reaching Redditors or performers that are just starting out, I'm also happy to answer questions if you post. More soon.

What looms ahead.

Hello World.

It's always been an ambition of mine to flesh out some of this ridiculous career of mine with a written (or in this case typed) record of events.

I shouldn't have waited this long.

38. December of 2012 I turned 38 years old. It's not a particularly outstanding number, nor was it a particularly outstanding birthday. It just...happened.

Suddenly the clock began to tick. My career's clock. It's loud. It's persistent. So...the time is now. Five months later. What am I doing? Well, first of all, I'm leaving Arizona and moving back to my family home in New Jersey, where I spent the first 28 years of my life. I have had a very good run out here in AZ, but my main theatre's shut down, and out here there are precious few venues that would seek to employ me consistently enough. It's time to make the big push.

I'm marketable. That's what all my friends say. I'd know if they were lying because I have always made a point of surrounding myself with true talent. If they say I'm capable, I buy it because I deem them capable, and the goodness they individually exhibit validates my personal opinion of them. It's a good system.

I'm going to return to NJ, re-introduce myself to the New York theatre scene and book something HUGE. It's going to happen because it has to. This is what I am, and it's all I've ever been even marginally good at. So, off I go.

But first...

As of next Sunday I venture to another theatre owned by my "home" company to do three productions that will carry me through to October. OCTOBER! That means, in order to make the title of this blog (and my aspiration) worth anything, I'll have 14 months to book a big, fancy gig by age 40.


Oh, hell...I've waited this long. Bring it the fuck ON.

A Closer Walk with Patsy Cline (for the third time)
Shrek (OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD)
Burt & Me (Bacharach Crack? We'll see...)

and then...

Broadway By Forty.

Welcome. Have a seat. Let's all do this together.