BWW Nomination!!!

Hi out there!

I've just received a Broadwayworld.com Best Actor in a Musical nomination for my performance as Shrek in Shrek The Musical at the Broadway Palm in Fort Myers, Florida!

I'm so thrilled to be recognized in any way for this production. Anyone associated with the show knows how important this process was to me. I am also thrilled that our principal performers dominate both this and other categories, along with noms for choreography, set design, costumes and direction! I just want to see the show recognized in some way. If you'd like to vote for me, super! Otherwise, I encourage you to cast votes for my castmates...they were all amazing! Here's the link below, don't forget to complete the process in its entirety. You can leave categories blank, as long as you finish the form. Thanks!

Vote for Shrek!!!

Obcast Interview

The link on the podcast leads you here, and the link here leads you to the podcast. My god, it's perfect.

This 92-minute interview will explain so, so much about my absence, plus you'll hear about exciting new things coming to the blog. Also, follow me on YouTube at screenname actorsnonactors.

Episode 11: Chuck Caruso

Sorry...

I'm currently having trouble differentiating between what would be useful content in this blog, and what is just the recycled diatribe of a very, very frustrated man. So, I've decided that I would just backspace through everything I just typed and go "Hey. Something was here, but I didn't really want to show it, nor did you probably need to hear it. I'll try again soon. I swear." Trust me, it was neither controversial or constructive. Later.

C

Post-Shrek

Would it be too succinct to say that this was the most rewarding theatrical experience of my life?

Probably.

Anyway...give me a little more time to process my thoughts on this one, and I promise a more thorough evaluation of that. Also, we went right into rehearsal for the new show...and I should probably devote some of my time to getting that open as well. More soon.

The Big Annoying Contradiction:

There's a conflict in my life that I've never truly been able to get a handle on. I merely manage it out of necessity, in hopes that it will find its own true resolution sometime in the future.

I'm an anxious person with a tendency towards feelings of loneliness. It doesn't jibe well with the industry I'm in.  I really do enjoy bringing love and laughter to my friends, but I seem to feel left out of the fold through no fault of theirs much of the time. This can be a very lonely existence, the life of a character actor. So much so that I've finally resigned to making an effort to change my outward appearance since it seems such a block toward anyone actually wanting to get to know me on a more personal (or even at some point, romantic) level.  I do have some truly wonderful friends...it's not their fault, and I NEVER want to give that impression. I despise feeling sorry for myself, but as the years go on I see so much of the industry getting younger, while my prospects grow slim. Add to that the fact that it's so damn difficult to remain stationary enough to run into people outside the buisness, and it often turns into a very repetitious and unforgiving cycle.  The contradiction manifests itself in the "okay-ness" that we must constantly portray as live performers, never conceding to our own loneliness and shortcomings.

Social awkwardness seems to have followed me up from elementary and high school on (chronically bullied, non-athletic, chastized for being "the sensitive kid") although my charisma seems to be far better at deflecting it as I run into more and more people who function on my intellectual level.  I sometimes think about how much more rewarding this current success would be if I had someone special in my heart to share it with.  I grow envious of other people's circumstances, but not in an unpleasant way, because I do still acknowledge that it could certainly happen for me, too.  They know I cheer their successes, and only strive to learn from them what makes it work, so I can parlay those experiences into a more fulfilling time for myself.

I've said time and time again how much I earnestly "root" for all my married friends that seem to be making a go of it in this business. They're on Broadway, they're all over the country, and they've seemed to "crack the code." What a gift it must be to have that sort of grounding in your life in times when you feel like you're hurtling through existence without a single other constant in your world.

Hope springs eternal...so I go on. Much love, everyone...

c

Why I'm not big on matinees...

I've always had this weird thing about two-show days.

It's not fostered in laziness...I could have the smallest role in a show, spend half the track reading in the green room, yet a double always feels a little funny to me. I'm going to go ahead and assume it has something to do with the journey one takes in the course of a show. When you're aware that you are going to do the show again on any given day, there's always part of you that tends to be a little less engaged, considering the fact that energy is finite and one must meter it out to a certain degree.

Okay. Wait. It's not that I hate two-show days. It's that I LOVE one-show days!

Your timeline stays intact. You work your rituals from end to end (getting your water bottles filled, warming up, putting on your makeup, seeing other characters for the first time) and it keeps you more engaged in the now of the whole event you're part of.  I understand them as a financial necessity in most theatre schedules, but I just love the thoroughly "done" feeling of a single show day.

Especially in a show I love to do, like Shrek, it's by no means a hardship...but a one show day is certainly super-special.

c

Regarding Opening Shrek....

I've seen something in the past few weeks that has really moved me.  The people close to the show may be sick of my praise, but this is on a much grander scale. It's blog fodder now!

You are always aware, as a performer, that people are really, earnestly (for the largest part) not in it for the cash. The pay's at about a year 2000 level, and hasn't really improved greatly since the most recent economic crisis.  We rally. We find that little joy within us that makes us get out of bed and go on. We discover whatever carries us through to the next rehearsal / tech day / double-double / media event and we clutch onto that little hope...and we proceed. We proceed to thrill a crowd, to make people think, to break some convention that makes the next big thing more special than the last.

For me, that's Shrek.

The atmosphere, the constant smiles and comments from servers, custodians, ticket agents, designers...who all acknowledge that this "isn't your typical dinner show."  The gasp from the audience (I heard it tonight) when they realize that this movie is coming to life in front of them.  The knowing smiles from my dear castmates when we connect in the smaller, more personal moments of the story.  I have an elf moment. I have a wolf moment. I have a three bears moment. I have a fairy godmother AND a Peter Pan moment. A countless pile of Donkey and Fiona moments.  It's all connected and anytime I shoot my gaze their way, they're in it. In it for real.

But here's the best part, people. It seems so obvious, but how has it eluded me until now? (You're gonna say: "You're playing Shrek, dumbass...of course you're having fun."  If it weren't for these people, it would just be hot, noisy, kooky work.)

The best part is that these people...these talented people...they carry me through it all night long, and then...when it's over? They're doubly grand off the stage. If you know me, you know I spend no little energy in saying this: I have already made lifelong friends in many of these people...whether they realize it or not.

Now's the best part. Having time free. Getting to know the people I haven't spent much time with even better. I know better than most that theatre can thrill you one moment and tear your heart out the next...but I'm telling you, these people are so special, so dear to me.

This silly thing. This fairy tale. This show that could easily just be a frilly little cupcake has turned into a four-course meal.

It's the best time every time.

Happy Opening.

More posts soon. I see we have a growing audience in Russia. That's amazing. Questions? Let me know what you're thinking. Topic ideas? Fire away. I'm here for all of you!

-c-